Liar, Liar

"I don't know why I feel the need to lie and cause you so much pain. Maybe it's something inside. Maybe it's something I can't explain, cause all I do is mess you up and lie to you. I'm a liar - oh, I am a liar"

-Henry Rollins

I have a problem that is out of control. I lie. That's right, I said it. L-I-E, lie. And since I have not afforded myself the luxury of some much needed professional psychoanalysis, I have to take a hard look to figure out why. Let's start with the small stuff first. I am a good salesman. Like all good salesmen I possess an advanced degree in bullshittery. The chameleon like ability to make people comfortable. The occasional use of embellishment to establish or drive a point home. You couple that with confidence and knowledge and you can sell a HUMMER to Ed Begley Jr.

No, the problem is much deeper. It comes from a need for acceptance and a desire to be liked at any price. I spend great amounts of time energy and effort to avoid conflict, and you know what? It is making me miserable, unhappy, and everyone around me miserable and unhappy. By perpetuating this behavior I am lying above all to myself.

I have a beautiful daughter, and two handsome sons. I am truly blessed. I do not want this to be the example set for them. I would rather them learn that it is better to screw up and be honest than to lie to avoid an unpleasant situation. There is more to this than a moral and character aspect. I lie out of fear, either real or perceived. I do not want my kiks to have that fear. So unless I learn to face the truth and stand with the consequences then I am worthless as a role model. They deserve more than that.

So I post this blog and will use it daily to remind myself of the person I should be, the person I can be, and the person I will be.

That person is a truthful person.

Why do today what you can put off for 2 years?

Wow - what can I say? Two years, no posts and it has finally taken a nudge from my wife to get me off of my ass and back to the keyboard. Too much to say now and way too tired. Stay tuned.......

2007 Woah!

Wow! Here it is! 2007. You know what? This year is gonna rock! How do I know? Well...because last year sucked so hard that this year by mere comparison HAS to be great. I shouldn't complain though. I have come out of it with just a few scrapes. I still have a great wife, 2 great kids and a new one on the way! That's right bitches! The MacKenzie clan is going for world domination! Anyway, the last few days have been good to decompress, reflect, and focus on the year ahead. Many challenges, many obstacles, so much to be done and so little time. I read somewhere that time should be treated like money. That you should think of the minutes in a day like a bank account and that every day you have a huge balance and like any other asset you should invest it wisely. So forget all the resolution hype. Resolutions are forgotten about with the first gulp of Alka-Seltzer after to much New Year's imbibing. This year...I just want to promise to myself to use my time better and to make each moment count. After all, with so many great things going on around me I don't want to miss anything.

Happy New Year.

Weird, Huh?

Okay, so here is the deal. The humble creator of this blog while being incredibly gifted, handsome, creative and charismatic has one major character flaw. I am a procrastinator. I have known this since the age of about 7, however, I have been in denial and have never really admitted it. I was in a meeting at work a couple of weeks ago with the usual douchebags praying for the sweet release of death when this
"uber-douchebag" known as Craig introduced himself. Apparently no one had gotten the memo that we were having a guest speaker. I certainly would have come early knowing that I would be in the presence of a self-effacing, twichy, double-talking motivational fuckstick (yes, I said fuckstick)! Now I had already had four of my typical 7 cup of coffee intake (nothing helps with productivity like running laps around the cubicles and having to visit the pisser every 20 minutes) but I was like Ben Stien after taking a handful of vicotin and getting shot in the neck with a tranquilizer gun compared to this dude. It was as if someone had found a way to bottle sunshine...and then shoved a case up this guys ass. So now he has us doing these self-evaluations and I am of course copying the guy sitting next to me (just like high school) when I get to this part about procrastination. Then it hit me like like Chris Reeves colostomy bag (and yes, I know I am going to hell)...holy fuck! I am a procrastinator! I am the guy who tries to read 4 chapters in 15 minutes approximately 20 minutes before a test. I am the guy who takes Friday off to fuck around and tries to cram the work I should have done into Monday's schedule. I am the guy who says I will get back to you this afternoon and calls you 2 days later. I am the guy...well, you get the point. And finally so have I. I am really relieved because it has gotten progressively worse the last couple of years. The thing is, I have gotten away with it for too long. I have been a poseur. A slacker in overachiver's clothing. Anyway, the point of this entire insipid diatribe is to lend some insight into why I created this blog on January 5th, yet failed to post anything until February 5th. Man, there is so much more I have to tell you, but it will have to wait until later....


- Kevin Mack

MacK N' Cheez

MacK N' Cheez

Waaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!

A blog is born BITCHES!!!